“Be you, you are enough”.
These beautiful words were expressed by someone I didn’t know well who had come to my house a few years ago to help repair something in our kitchen. As I told him I was divorcing, my eyes full of tears, this is what he said.
You know the feeling when someone says a truth, some really wise words, and it just hits you in the chest because you know it is the truth? That’s what it felt like for me as I was told I was enough. It was so unexpected to hear it, I couldn’t believe those words were directed to me! And even if I didn’t believe them in that moment, I knew at the same time that it was truth being spoken. How strange things are, we are not easy-going on ourselves, are we?
The good thing is, we are all enough. Most of us maybe don’t know it, and don’t feel like enough because it is buried so deep down. It is easy to think that we will first be enough when we have improved, become a better person, done better, achieved more. All of this happening sometime in the future.
When I started mindfulness meditation back in 2012, my aim was to save myself – by becoming a better person. Now I am thinking: “What?!?”. I felt destroyed and deeply wanted to improve. I heard meditation teachers say “everything is already within you” however I could not grasp what that meant. I was just thinking, “yeah, yeah, however I know I need to become a better person”. I am smiling at it now, but I guess we all have to start somewhere.
I find yoga and meditation so incredible because as you practice, you become more and more You. You allow your Self to shine through. These practices help you peel off all the protective layers you have put around you as you have been living your life, defending yourself against this and that. I visualise it as invisible layers that are covering me and that I wrongly believe I need around me in order not to get hurt. Now, all I want is to get these layers off! I finally understand it is ok to be me. That must be much better than living according to how I (mistakenly) believe other people think is right so they can approve of me.
The buddhist nun Pema Chodron expresses it this way: “When you meet the dragon, take your armour off”. This is the way I understand it: The dragon is the perceived danger, challenge, difficulty. The armour represents all the layers that are covering you so you don’t get to be you, and you are holding back who you are. Have the courage to show who you are, to yourself and the world. If anyone makes a t-shirt saying “I am taking my armour off” I would be more than happy to wear it!
I am probably still living my life in a way that suggests I believe I am not enough, however that doesn’t worry me. Happy to be moving slowly forwards, step by step, and becoming more and more me. So, celebrate your humanness, being a human being amongst other human beings, and at the same time also let your uniqueness shine through. Be you! 😍
