Without a doubt, my biggest failure was my divorce. I haven’t thought about my divorce as failure for a long time, and I also feel that it is something that is over, in the past. It’s kind of weird, I don’t associate with that feeling any longer – I don’t even really understand why this feeling of failure was so strong in me for several years. However, the other day I spoke to a friend of mine who mentioned her divorce. She was saying the worst for her when her marriage fell apart was this immense feeling of failure. And I got reminded that that’s exactly how I had felt too.
Isn’t it strange how things come and go? How sometimes something difficult happens in your life and it’s the biggest thing, the absolute worst thing ever, you think it will never go away? And then one day you realise that you are completely over it? And even more incredible, you realise something good came out of it?
I’m having these thoughts right now as I am reading Eckhart Tolle (as I always do, ha ha!). I came across a paragraph I have read several times before, in this book “The Power of Now”. I always find so much wisdom in his words. So I’m reading today how we, as humans, are experts at creating our own drama. Apparently, “most people are in love with their particular life drama”. I can relate to that! 😆 In order to step out of your life drama, you have to face the challenge to live with what is, giving full acceptance to life as it is for you now. If you manage to, you end all drama in your life, in this moment.
Drama is so exhausting. I have to admit, it is a bit fun/addictive too, it is so tempting to go there! However, I’m doing my best to accept things as they are. Want to have a go at it? Just check out what happens when you truly accept things as they are, right now: You come into Being. You arrive in the present moment. And in this space, this moment, you can find joy in just Being. Suddenly you are free from all drama. When I occasionally find myself in this full-acceptance mode, I can’t help myself but saying out loud, to the annoyance probably to whoever’s around me, “I’m so happy, I don’t know why, I’m just so happy”. It feels amazing, and pretty unbelievable too. E. Tolle calls it “uncaused joy”, it’s the perfect expression!
So coming back to the feeling of huge failure. It can go away once you start truly accepting things as they are. One day, a few years back, I found myself in such a horrible place (my particular life drama) and someone said to me in a calm and caring voice: “Annette, this is what is”. Magic words. It was like a sudden switch in perception, acceptance was brought to the situation, and I felt fine and relieved. Something good can come out of a really tough situation. I’d say trust life, trust this moment. That’s it for this article, wishing you lots of joy!
Ps. I teach classes in mindfulness meditation and yoga in Wimbledon. Join me to experience coming into the present moment, either through meditation or through practising yoga postures on the mat. To book, contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org